A Letter To My Baby

April 17, 2018

Dear Baby,

 

You aren't here yet but I already feel like I know you. I feel like I know the kind of person you will be and how much I will love you. 

 

We've had a little bit of a journey together you and I. You've made me feel so proud. I didn't know it was possible to feel a mother's pride before you even met your child but with every ounce you have put on I felt my heart swell. You have just kept going and kept growing, surprising us all by staying in right to the end. 

 

You have tested Mummy's nerves, but I think you will probably do that for the rest of our lives together. I will always worry about you now, because it's my prerogative. 

 

I have wanted to meet you for so long, I've dreamt about the moment that you will be placed in my arms for years. The moment is nearly upon us and I don't feel scared to become a mum. So many people have said to me, 'Aren't you worried about how your life is going to change?' I can only answer them, 'No...'

 

Why would I be scared of something that is going to change us in such a positive way? I get to teach you how to be a good person. How to respect people, your environment, and to never settle. I get to teach you right from wrong, and how people are different but we are all the same. I know that you will grow up to be a honest, kind and loving person because of the people who will help you grow. You will start a life in this world surrounded by family and friends who only want to see you flourish.  

 

When I picture you, I picture your life. From the moment you are placed on my chest, those first steps, to watching you through your awkward teenage years, and job promotions, travelling the world for the first time. I see it all, although you are still nameless. I'm so excited to show you all the things this world has to offer you. 

 

This hasn't been the easiest of pregnancies. I thought that it would be so simple to carry you around for 9 months, maybe see your little face on a scan a couple of times. Instead I have seen you 9 times, although every time you tried to make it as difficult for the sonographer as possible! All the problems have been a blessing and a worry but getting to see you so much has helped me through the worst of it. The very thought of hurting you by eating sugar has also kept me on the straight and narrow, no mean feat when Mummy loves sugar and carbs so much.

 

We've already experienced happy memories together. My favourites are when I talk to you and you kick back, or when Daddy comes home and you give me a kick as if to say - I hear him and I'm happy he's back too. When we saw you for the first time on the screen and I burst into tears because you were so small but there. You surprised us by being further along than we thought and for a bit I was so cross with you, but then I heard your heartbeat and I knew I couldn't really ever stay mad.

 

The world you are coming into can sometimes seem a little bit like a madhouse. There's always so much war and politics, disagreements and pain. But we will try and teach you that there is also SO much good to be found in everything. People's humanity is our saving grace and you must never lose yours. I wish only that you try and see the best in every moment and every day. It's important that you know that love is love.

 

I'm so excited to see who you will take after. Will you have my confidence or your Daddy's intelligence? Will you like to read books as we both do, or will you be more sporty? What will your favourite colour be and will you like Marmite or not? (I'm telling you now it's disgusting!) How will you tie your shoelaces and will you be left or right handed? Looking to the future and getting to experience all the firsts with you fills me with joy. It will be like I am also seeing and doing these things for the first time too. 

 

In no time at all we will be able to give you your very first cuddle and say 'Happy Birthday' to you. Know that you are loved and wanted from the very first breath you take, and that it will never change. Our love for you will be unwavering and sure, and you need only say and we will support you in whatever choices you make. 

 

I am so looking forward to our life together little one, it's going to be everything we dream of. 

 

All my love,

Mummy x

 

 

 

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